How to Saute or Jitterbug...Jitterbug...Jitterbug

But am I ready to be a father figure?

Few musicians have captured the attention of the world quite as completely as George Michael. He just jitterbugged his way right into our hearts in the 80's and never left. So what in the world does George Michael have to do with cooking? EVERYTHING! DON'T YOU EVER QUESTION THE COOKER! Okay...it is a bit of a stretch. However, that does not make either subject any less important.

Just like dancing, being able to properly saute is a skill that should be learned and developed. It is one of the most common ways to cook things and always adds panache to a description. Which sounds better; sweated onions and bell peppers or sauteed onions and bell peppers? Exactly. Sweated onions sounds like the fat guy at the beach that is sweating bullets because he is eating.

Mmm, that sounds good. I'll have that

This post is dedicated to Saute, the verb. This post will show some basic steps in sauteing and will even have a side dish sneaked into it. Look to sauteing when you want to deepen then flavor of something by browning it. Sauteing is normally reserved for things that can be cooked quickly and hold onto their shape pretty well. This is why shrimps and veggies are typically sauteed and potatoes and soup are typically not.

The important part here is that when you are doing some sauteing you want the food to be dancing or jitterbugging around the pan. If the pan is too cold you will sweat your veggies instead and this neither the time nor the place. So your pan must be good and hot, around medium for most people's stoves and pans. You must also be using some sort of fat that can handle higher temperatures, so only use butter if you have clarified it first. Also, sauteing is about getting some color on the food that you are cooking. You should be browning the food, if there is not enough heat to brown it then you need to crank it. With that in mind let us begin.

Grab yourself a pan. Either of these would work just fine. The one on the right is a proper saute pan but the cooker was feeling sassy so the fry pan was used, plus the saute pan was being used for something else. Whichever you choose, try to pick one that is big enough for the job at hand. If that pan is too small and you start crowding it you will have to work in batches so that you do not sweat. Anyways, go ahead and start letting it heat up while you start prepping the items to be sauteed.

These are the guys that will be getting cut up and then sauteed. It will make a lovely side dish for whatever else you might be having in the late summer time.


Here they are after being cut up. The squashes were cut using what we will call for the time being, the carrot method, and the onions were cut up in the non dice version here. And then there is the garlic which is going to get its own post some day, cuz damn it tasty.


So you heat the pan and then pour your preferred fat in there and let it heat. You know it is ready when it slides easily back and forth across the pan. It is too hot if the oil is smoking or your kitchen is on fire. When it has reached the specified oil temperature, add the cut onions. Okay, and when you add the onions, don't be an idiot. Be careful. Add them close to the pan so that you do not splash the oil everywhere and look like this. You should hear a nice sizzle, if you do not your oil is not hot enough. Crank it up a little until you hear a good sizzle. Oh and add some salt at this point.

Keep the onions moving fairly regularly so that they brown but do not burn. They should look something like those above. if not you better crank it up a little or let them sit a little longer between moves. Next add your squash again without being an idiot. Add a touch of salt and keep that stuff moving regularly. Oh and remember to not crowd the pan. Crowding the pan will drop the heat of the pan and you will start sweating instead of sauteing.


Time for the big toss. Tilt the pan down and let the food slide towards that edge.


Then flick your wrist up while pulling back to throw the food into the air while also launching it backwards. This is no time for cowardice. This is no time to be timid. You gotta go for it. if you do not, nothing will happen and you will just coat your backsplash with squashy bits.


If you have acted with bravery and all has gone to plan, the pan will catch the food as it falls back to the earth. Does this a few times to mix everything up nicely. Oh, if you would like practice, try with a cold pan and some uncooked rice. Start with tiny tosses and move your way up. Toss that around a couple times and then add your garlic. Keep it moving until everything has some color. Then slide it onto a dish and you are ready.


That is the finished side over there on the right side. The Cooker did not get a great shot of the squash on its on so you get a sauteed dish in entirety. The mushroom thing and the chicken will follow, calm down.

To summarize.

• You need a pan that gets hot.
  
• You need a fat of some sort that can handle some heat.
• You need to hear a sizzle.
• You need to do some browning. Color is the goal.
• Do not overcrowd the pan as this will lead to uneven cooking and sweating. Not the goal.
• You need to choose items that cook rather quickly and hold their shape.
• You must not be timid. The meek might inherit the earth but they will be making piss poor saute the whole time. This is why strong adjectives and verbs describe cooks. Galloping Gourmet, not shuffling. Iron Chef, not putty. Wham, not tickle.
  
• You must then make it happen in your tum tum.

Questions? Need more elaboration? You better axe somebody.

Bell (Pepper) Biv Devoe

You have bested Onion and Carrot with flawless victories. Now for your final challenge in this introductory course, the Workshop presents the Bell Pepper. Slippery, stubborn, complicated, and sometimes containing half a clone inside, the Bell Pepper is your most formidable foe yet. You would be wise to sharpen up the knife before engaging this one in mortal combat. The Bell Pepper has been known take dull knives away from cookers, tying the cookers to a spinning wooden wheel and then flinging the knives at their helpless fingers giving them cuts a plenty. Do you want that? The tricky part with Bell peppers is getting the seed pod out without wasting all the flesh. Two general methods are shown here. After getting the seed pod out you can slice or dice however you like for the dish that you are preparing.

For the first method curl those fingers up and lay the Pepper on its side. Then cut the stem end off in a slicing motion far enough down such that there is an opening in the top big enough to remove the seed pod.

Then cut the bottom off, again in a slicing motion such that there is an opening on the bottom.


Then prop the the thing up on end and slice down through one side to open up the Pepper.


Then pull out the seed pod and all of the whit pithy stuff you can see with either your hand or your knife.


With the Pepper deseeded lay it out flat, skin side down and begin slicing it parallel to the ribs, all the way if you like slices or just most of the way if you like dice.


This is the other side of the Pepper that has been cut for most of the way to get ready for a dice.


Then just cutting perpendicular to get that lovely dice.


Method number two is a little trickier to explain so here goes. Take the whole Pepper and slice down the ribs of the Pepper from top to bottom using the tip of your knife. The ribs are those indentations just in case you are not familiar. Cutting down each rib makes it easier to open up the whole thing later.


Next, open up the whole Pepper, bending back the sections that you have cut. If you bend them all the back they will break off at the base of the seed pod.

You are then left with smaller sections of Pepper that you can then slice or dice. you can make rounded slices using this method due to the natural curve of the Pepper.


Looks like you passed the introductory course. Here is a Gold Star. You can now make the southern Trinity as well, onions, celery and bell pepper. They use that as a base for everything down in Louisiana. This has concluded the first course is cuttering. Future courses will show different cuts and the fancy names for them as well as how to make them. Did..Did you...Did you cut yourself!? Well then what is all that red on your fingers!? Oh. But how did you get that slice of Pepper stuck to your finger? You know what, keep it to yourself. Yikes. Now go wash your hands and make something tasty so that you may make it happen in your tum tum.

If Carrots got you drunk...Rabbits would be Faaaaaded

Well. Well. Well. You have defeated Onion my young grasshopper? (Cooker begins slowly clapping) Then you must feel ready to take on your next adversary. Hmmm? You were born ready? Well then prepare yourself grasshopper, for CARROT! Why is there no fear in your eyes? Feeling cocky then eh? Cocky enough to use...a PEELER? Still no fear. Right. Let's get on with it then.

Before you lies the carrot, edible raw or cooked, whole or cut, peeled or unpeeled. This post is designed to show you some basic ways to cut up a carrot without using crazy french terms. Those will follow shortly though if all goes to plan. So there is the simple round, wheel cut which is good for longer cooking where the carrot needs to be recognizable. There is the half circle carrot cut for slightly faster cooking and where it can begin fading into a background flavor. Then there is the quarter wheel cut which is good for fast cooking where you do not need to have a distinct carrot flavor. Remember to keep those fingers curled under and bigger carrots are easier to practice on. Oh, and that dang knife better be sharp.

Start by peeling the carrot. There are millions of ways to do this. The Cooker is meticulous and goes from top to bottom one ever so slightly overlapping strip at a time until the whole thing is peeled. The hand and peeler are out of focus because the camera's eye has a hard time capturing something that fast.


When the carrot is completely naked it is time to start making with the cuts. Snip the tip and the top just a bit from each side to clean it up. Then depending on what type of cut you are going to make you can cut it in half to make it more manageable or leave it whole. A variety of cuts are to be performed so this carrot is being halved.


Now curl those fingers under and start slicing the carrot into wheels. Something to keep in mind while doing this is to try and keep the carrots the same size as you go. Carrots are smaller closer to the tip so make wider cuts there and narrow then as you come up so that they cook at the same rate. P.S. use a rocking motion with your knife to make the job easier.

For the half wheel, take the section of carrot that you are working with and bisect it lengthwise. Taking care to keep the carrot from rolling which might sink the knife into your fingers. Use that same rocking motion here as carrots can be cruel mistresses.

Then use the same method and cut across your previous cut to make a series of half wheels.


To make the quarter wheel cut. Bisect the half carrot you have lengthwise again. Keep the two halves together though as it is quicker to cut them up this way. Then cut them the same way as both times before and you end up with cute little quarters.

Here are the three cuts ready for your viewing pleasure. From left to right, quarters, halves and wholes.


Still got all those sweet little fingers intact it looks like. Nice job. Seriously though these little guys can get the best of you if you are not careful. You can now cut up 2/3 of the super base mirepoix. Well really you can do all three. Celery is pretty much the same idea as carrots just shaped a little different. Celery poses the question...do peel or not to peel? Keep the stringies or get rid of them. You make the call. So now you can make a solid base to soups, sauces, stocks, stews etc.

Okay so now just knock out 80 - 90 of these and you will be ready for your next task. Okay you don't really need to cut that many. But think about how you might make a dice out of a veggie shaped like a carrot. Go make something tasty with these little games so that you can make it happen in your tum tum.

There's no crying in cookering!

Oh man you look terrible. What did you get in a knife fight or something? Seriously? Who gets in knife fights? Okay who did you get in a knife fight with? A vegetable!? I am not listening anymore, it is time for you to get educated in the craft of the kitchen knife cuz damn. Having good knife skills is one of the greatest attributes you can have in a kitchen or while cooking. If you have honed (!) your skills you will take less time in preparation and more importantly your items will cook evenly and predictably. Oh and your hands will not look like you hand feed bears little smokies.

There are as many ways to cut an onion as there are stars in the sky (10). This post is going to focus on two of the handiest to have available in your tool box as it were. The first is good for when you want the onion in relatively big even slices. So things like stir frys and caramelized onions. The second is just a dice which is good for things that either will only be sweated or not cooked at all. So sauce and salsas.

Remember, a sharp knife is your friend especially in the case of onions. A dull knife will jack up your situation. The first thing to do in either situation is to get the onion ready. In this case you should cut the top and the bottom off the onion maybe a 1/4 to 1/2 an inch from each end. Then cut the whole operation in half latitudely.


Then get in there with your fingers, well what you have left of them, and peel of the papery skin of the onion. Depending on the onion this might require removing the first layer. Just try to leave some of the onion on there.Next put the onion cut side down on your board. Then starting from whichever side you are more comfortable with, slice along the curved edge of the onion towards where the center of the onion touches the board. Then move a little higher and repeat all the while keeping your fingers clear and aiming for where the center of the onion meets the board.


Continue this way until you make it all the way around. The slices should look something like this.


So there you have slices. Look for the side by side comparison at the end. Now on to the dice. Start with the same halved deskinned onion. Put it cut side down and make a slice parallel to the board through the top or bottom about a third of the way towards the top from the bottom. DO NOT CUT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. SERIOUSLY. Cut until you are just shy of the other side. This will keep the onion held together and make your life much easier later. Then move up another third and make another slice and then do the last third.


Next slice along the curved side of the onion perpendicular to your previous cuts and the board. AGAIN, DO NOT CUT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. Leave the side you left connected earlier still connected. Once again this will make your life easier and make you look like a pimp/pimptress when the time comes.


Now make cuts the last direction perpendicular to the last cut leaving you with a beautiful dice. CUT ALL THE WAY THROUGH NOW. When you get close to the still connected side flip that part over and cut it up separately. Notice the fingers curled under as to avoid getting cut. When you get more comfortable you can actually have the flat side of the knife rest against your knuckles while you cut.


There you have it. Both styles ready to roll. Hey, look whose not bleeding anymore! Now go and practice.

What was that? No. This is not some exercise that prepares you for fighting like in the karate kid. This shows you how to cut an onion. So that you can cut an onion.


Now use these to make something tasty and make it happen in your tum tum.

Skills to come in handy in a knife fight...or meal time.

So there you are hanging out with your boys, you know the "gang," and you all start feeling a little...anxious.

'nuff said

You know, ready to throw down. Ready to mix it up and test your mettle. Ready to find another group of boys or "gang" and have a good old fashioned knife fight.

A good friend of the Workshop Nico defending his toon's honor against the shirtless wonder

Sadly though you can only find a chef's knife to wield and a bunch of veggies to fight. However, those veggies should not be underestimated. If you go after them unprepared you just might come out of it with a few shorter fingers and some horribly bloody tasting stir fry. Oh but your ego has decided to write some checks that your body can't cash.

I am giving you your dream shot

Now look at you. Take a look at those veggie cuts and those fings (!). You just got your a$$ kicked by something that cannot even move on its own. What you need is some knowledge and some training. You need a montage. Well the Workshop does not have that kind of technology so what you get instead is a series of short posts showing how to cut some stuff up. Each one shows a couple different ways to go so that your ingredients can cook evenly and your fingers can maintain their current length and blood content. Stay tuned for the knowledge bomb, but you might want to take off your shoes because when your socks going fly off at that kind of speed your shoes will be destroyed.

Cool, Cool, Cool...Cool Tools

If you have ever spent a sleepless night watching infomercials then you have no doubt seen some amazing kitchen gadgets that are supposed to make your life easier. That is not to say that these gadgets do not work or do not make your life easier, they just might do that. The main problem with most of the items pushed is that their uses are limited and they take up a bunch of space. It would be great to have a juicer than can juice a shoe so you can wake up every morning to a tall glass of fresh juiced shoe, but seriously, how big is your kitchen? You honestly have room for the juicer, the chopomatic, the dehydrator, the magic bullet, and the Chef Tony knives? The Workshop is not that big. Keep in mind, these things are not a waste of money and can do what they do very well. The point that is being driven to is that these things can never replace the old standards, and that it it better to have a solid base of equipment and the knowldege to use it.

So what kind of stuff should you get in 3 easy payments? Basic stuff that can be used to make myriad things well. Things that people have been using to make food for centuries. You ever see an elderly woman with a face that looks like a well worn bomber jacket using a Magic Bullet to make her great grand mothers recipe? No, you have not. She is using a machete that gives the phantom pain of a tetanus shot just looking at it and a block of wood that must have had heads/hands chopped off on it.

The following is a general list of equipment that it is good to have in a kitchen. If you do not have these do not freak out. Take these with a grain of salt. This list is sort of a desert island proposition, that is to say what things you might want if starting from nothing on a fixed budget.



The first thing that you should have? A knife you say? That is a good idea for sure, however you can actually prepare more stuff with just a big old heavy pot than you can with just a knife. So the first thing you should get is a good heavy dutch oven kind of thing. These things range in price like you would not believe. You want to pay $600 for one? Sure. Oh, you said $60? Sure, you're covered too. You can even find some that are made out of cast iron and will outlast you and cost next to nothing. Now, why should you have this before a knife? Versatility. In this same pot you can boil stuff, broil stuff, saute stuff, braise stuff, pan fry stuff, deep fry stuff, steam stuff, sear stuff, or break things (it is heavy). Most things that you cook in a dutch oven are cooked by moist heat, the main exception being sauteing and frying which can be considered dry heat. So it takes care of half of the cooking methods. So in other words, if it involves cooking you can basically do it with one of these. Look for the heaviest, thickest one you can to promote good heat distribution and make sure it is oven safe with a tight fitting lid.



Now it is time to bring in the knife. With this little guy you can now control more of what you cook. You can ensure more uniform cooking times by adjusting the sizes of things and you can peel things that need to be peeled to be tasty. You should get the knife that fits your budget and feels best in you hand. A decent knife, if cared for, will last you forever. Also, remember to pick up a honing steel to keep your knife sharp. There was a huge long thing about knives last post, so check that out if you have more questions.



The Cooker loves to grill so that comes next. If you have a grill, be it a gas (indoors or outdoors), wood, charcoal, or even Foreman you can create a whole bunch more fun things. The grill will take care of your dry heat cooking needs. There are flavors that you simply cannot recreate any other way than with a grill. Plus, if you talk to someone that has grilled a long time, you will have a hard time stumping them on how to use the grill to cook just about anything. I bet they could even make a good soup directly on the grill if need be. When looking for a grill, the biggest thing that you will need to decide is how you want to generate the heat. This will depend on if you have access to a backyard type of area or not. If not go with an indoor grill or even a Foreman grill if that is the best you can do. The best thing to grill on is a real wood burning grill, however this not only requires the most attention and skill, but also requires the most time to get going. Gas grills are somewhere in the middle of those. The Workshop uses a charcoal grill as it has a nice blend of flavor and convenience. Just never use lighter fluid with anything, it tastes nasty. Especially on the Foreman Grill.


Better get a cutting board next. With this apparatus you can now do more precision cutting and slicing. Never use anything harder than your knife for a cutting board, i.e. glass. Wood is great for veggies and a plastic composite is great for meats. Aside from that you decide what you like. If it is plastic get the biggest that fits in your dishwasher. If it is wood, get the biggest that you do not mind lugging around or keeping on your counter.



The next thing to get would be a saute pan, 10" should be good. A saute pan differs from a fry pan in that the saute pan has straight sides and the fry pan has sloping sides. This allows you to do a couple more things in the saute pan than you can in the fry pan. This will allow the searing of meats and veggies, shallow braising, sauteing of course, and risotto making. When buying a saute pan get the thickest, heaviest pan that you can. The metals involved in the pan can start getting involved at this point. Generally speaking multi-metal "clad" pans are better than single metal pans. They are also more expensive so get what you can. As far as the size is concerned, go for a 10" pan as it will give you some good size to sear off big things but not be so big that you can't cook small amounts of things in it.


This is the point where everything starts blending together. If you have the previously mentioned items you can make just about anything that is not baking related. The following list is another set of kitchen essentials but they are not as important as the previously mentioned ones. They have more specific uses but are nonetheless used quite a bit. If a description seems necessary then it will be added of course.

Vegetable Peeler (the ceramic ones are worth the money)
A box grater, to make short work of cheese, taters, citrus zest, etc.
Bread Knife
Paring Knife
Whisk (any kind works fine)
Non Stick Fry Pan, look for non-stick pans that are oven safe. Older non stick pans give off a cancer chemical when used over high heat or used in the oven. That is not to say that you are going to get nose cancer from smelling the fumes, it just means that it could be a good idea to get a pan that doesn't add more to your daily carcinogen consumption.
Assorted Pans, take a look at the kind of things that you cook most often and go from there as far as which pans you get. The alternative is to buy a pan set which works just fine too.
Food Processor, if you get a good one it will last you forever. However, take a look at how much you will actually use the thing because the Workshop's gets used maybe once a month or so depending on what is being made. Oh there is a cool one that is a food processor and a blender, which means taking up less room.
Food Mill, this is awesome for making purees of things, be it the world's best mashed potatoes or red pepper coulis.

That seems to be enough for right now. Questions? Ask in the comments section and the Workshop will drop some knowledge on you.